Success Through Discretion: 10 Things You Should Avoid Discussing with Others
The ancients said: “Success is achieved through secrecy, failure through loose talk; accomplishment comes from careful thought, planning from deep contemplation.” This is a maxim that combines traditional Chinese wisdom with strategic thinking. Have you noticed this pattern: good things often disappear once spoken about, while bad things, once mentioned, tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies? Throughout history, those who achieved great things were people who kept their mouths sealed. Most ordinary people only truly understand this principle after being taught harsh lessons by society.
I’ve summarized the following 10 things that are best kept to yourself:
1. Unfinished Plans - Speak Cautiously
Those plans and ambitions still in their infancy are like tender sprouts that cannot withstand harsh sunlight. Once goals are spoken aloud, the brain easily produces a false sense of “already achieved” satisfaction, significantly weakening your motivation to act.
When Kazuo Inamori founded Kyocera, he deeply understood this principle. He quietly accumulated technology without boastful talk, eventually becoming a legendary figure. When you feel the urge to share, take out paper and pen, transform that desire into concrete steps, and post them at your desk for daily review—let silence become the strongest armor for action.
2. Personal Finances - Discuss Less
Income, savings, investment plans… once these numbers become conversation topics, they easily trigger comparisons, breed misunderstandings, or even invite unnecessary trouble. Not flaunting wealth is wisdom. Excessive display of wealth may generate jealousy among colleagues and friends. There have even been cases where showing off wealth to outsiders led to criminal incidents.
When others try to probe your financial situation, simply smile and say: “Still working hard to make ends meet, thanks for your concern.” This gentle boundary lets others know to back off while maintaining dignity.
3. Family Disputes - Keep Behind Closed Doors
As the saying goes, “Don’t air dirty laundry in public.” Marital conflicts, parent-child tensions, sister-in-law rivalries, mother-in-law relationships… once these complex family contradictions are shared with the outside world, they often become more detrimental to resolution.
Even wise officials find family matters difficult to judge, and outsiders can hardly understand the full picture. Their judgments and suggestions are not only useless but may actually damage relationships. Worse, the spread of details may be unintentionally misinterpreted, eventually bouncing back and tearing deeper wounds that could have been healed and misunderstandings that could have been resolved.
4. Inner Vulnerabilities and Traumas
Those scars from darkest moments, fears buried deep in your heart, hidden pains that haunt midnight dreams—these are the most secret corners of the soul. Indiscriminate exposure is like exposing unhealed wounds to the wind.
Excessive exposure of vulnerable parts may invite curiosity rather than healing, and may even cause people to avoid you for spreading negative energy. True healing requires a safe container—perhaps a professional counselor, a close friend tested by years, or that diary that faithfully holds all your tears. The greatest respect for vulnerability is choosing the right, understanding listener.
5. Deep Judgments of Others
Dissatisfaction with leaders, complaints about colleagues, disappointment in friends and family… these “sharp critiques” may bring short-term satisfaction when spoken, but they may plant long-term hidden dangers.
Words are like wind, easily spreading and transforming. When they finally reach the person in question, they may be completely “unrecognizable.” The deeper negative meaning is that when we habitually focus on others’ shortcomings, our hearts are quietly filled with resentment, blinding our eyes to beauty.
6. Wavering During Major Life Decisions
Quitting to start a business? Moving to a different city? Ending a relationship? These major decisions at life’s crossroads often cause inner turmoil. If you rush to seek “support” or “approval” from the outside world, you may easily be influenced by others’ experiences, positions, and expectations, obscuring your own inner voice.
For important matters, ask your heart’s true voice and seek answers from your body. At decision crossroads, surrounding noise is often fog; only your inner compass can point toward the direction that truly belongs to you.
7. Your Core Network Resources
Those people willing to “vouch for you, support you, and share core resources”—such as mentors who brought you into the industry, leaders who promoted you, benefactors who helped you secure key projects, industry leaders who provide exclusive information.
They become “core” network connections often because these relationships have been tempered by time, built on deep mutual trust, respect, and reciprocity. They are trust assets, not social currency. Using them as bragging material or casually “introducing” them to others for favors not only devalues the relationship itself and disrespects the other party, but may also make the mentioned person feel used, quietly eroding the foundation of trust.
8. Special Resources - Guard Quietly
Holding scarce connections, unique channels, key information, or even some unique creative ideas—guard these well. They are your moat, your precious intangible assets. Once widely known, their value is easily diluted and may even invite unnecessary demands and competition.
Many artists and inventors guard their works like protecting a flame before they take shape. Many trade secrets are guarded for a lifetime, such as Coca-Cola’s formula, Lao Gan Ma’s recipe, and Quick-acting Heart Pills’ formula.
9. Your Secret Efforts for Self-Improvement
Late-night study sessions under lamplight, sweat in the gym, quietly reading professional books… these “underground efforts” are gifts you give to your future self. Announcing goals too early easily leads to “social supervision,” making you feel pressured. Some relatives may even discourage your dreams “for your own good,” and some people may even maliciously mock your dreams out of spite, because your “diligence” highlights their uselessness.
True transformation often happens quietly in unobserved corners.
10. Your Unique Values and Lifestyle
In this noisy world, choosing a non-mainstream lifestyle or adhering to unique values requires inner determination. Constantly explaining and defending to those who disagree only wastes mental energy and traps you in a “self-proving trap.”
It’s a state of active, focused choice, building a moat for truly important things, letting actions replace words and deep thinking replace superficial communication.
Guarding the boundaries of these 10 things doesn’t mean becoming closed off, but rather, in this noisy world, preserving an undisturbed sanctuary for inner creativity, emotional resilience, and future possibilities.
The wisdom of silence—in those depths of wordless cultivation, strength is quietly gathering; in those moments when words cease, destiny is silently changing.
That’s all.