Relationships with Repeated Financial Transactions Are the Most Comfortable Relationships

Old Li and his childhood friend arranged to have dinner together. His friend directly transferred 500 yuan: “This meal is on me, you just lost your job so don’t try to be tough.” Old Li didn’t accept the money and replied with an emoji: “Get lost, you’re paying next time.”

Those relationships where money can be discussed openly tend to last the longest.

The pancake vendor downstairs remembers you don’t eat cilantro, and the coffee shop girl in your office building knows you want an extra-large Americano. These seemingly ordinary business relationships contain more stable understanding than many intimate relationships.

1. Money is the “Authentication Label” of Relationships

I once read about a true story: A social media influencer helped a friend purchase luxury goods, advancing tens of thousands of yuan, only for the friend to disappear completely. When you’re willing to take financial risks for a relationship, you’re essentially “authenticating” that relationship.

Relationships that fall apart over money discussions are softer than plastic.

I know a designer named May who has a principle: when friends ask her to design graphics, she still charges money - just gives them a 20% discount because they’re friends. In her words: “What’s the consequence of helping for free? The other person thinks you’re always available and complains you’re not considerate enough even after twenty revisions.”

Last year, she designed a 100-day celebration poster for a former colleague’s child. The WeChat red envelope payment arrived immediately, with a note: “I know you charge more for commercial projects, don’t shortchange yourself.” Now the two have partnered to open a studio together. May says: “Only those who dare to settle accounts clearly with you dare to share risks with you.”

Financial transactions activate the brain’s “trust circuit.” Those relationships that always ask you to “help first, talk later,” “we’re so close, who’s counting,” or “we’re family, talking money is vulgar” are like batteries that only output power one-way - they’ll eventually drain all their energy.

2. Clear Pricing is Adult Kindness

My relative’s cousin once complained to me: She helped a neighbor purchase baby formula many times, but the neighbor never even covered shipping costs. Until one time when she forgot to buy due to fever, the neighbor actually mocked her in the homeowners’ group chat for “taking money but not doing the work.”

According to the “reciprocity principle” in social interactions, when people receive unpaid help, their subconscious generates a sense of debt. To eliminate this discomfort, some people distort facts - either by belittling your contribution (“it’s just buying something along the way”) or inflating their own value (“I help you so much normally”).

In contrast, experienced professionals discussing cooperation often start with: “Let’s talk budget first.” People who can openly discuss money are actually more likely to reach consensus.

The story of Old Zhou, the shoe repair man at the community gate, is quite interesting. While others put up signs saying “Shoe Repair 5 Yuan,” he hung a blackboard: “Regular glue 5 yuan, imported glue reinforcement 10 yuan, 3-month warranty 20 yuan.” His business was obviously better than other stalls. When asked about his secret, he chuckled: “Let people choose for themselves. Those who choose expensive feel it’s worth it, those who choose cheap are also at peace.”

Those long-lasting cooperative relationships - “clear accounts between close brothers” always have higher survival rates than those based on “emotional decisions”; best friends who sign agreements when starting businesses together actually have lower chances of falling out.

3. Where Money Flows, Relationship Upgrade Codes Hide

The barber shop owner downstairs is a perfect example. Fifteen years ago when he first opened, no matter how busy the shop was, he would personally cut my hair every time I visited. I later understood it was because I was a neighborhood resident, and he valued the sense of security that monthly regular customers brought.

Now he has three branch stores. Every time I visit, he still charges the old price, but adds with a smile: “If anyone around you wants to learn hairdressing, have them come to me as an apprentice.” - You see, good financial relationships naturally develop human warmth.

I know a post-90s designer named Xiao Lin. Her client quotes are as transparent as a menu: “Logo design starts at 5000, 20% surcharge for every three revisions.” Initially, some people criticized her for being rigid, but five years later, her client renewal rate reached 70%.

A coffee shop owner client said: “I value her honesty. Now I even consult her on new product development” - You see, good transactional relationships naturally grow new value.

A relative of mine does small commodity wholesale in Yiwu. One client has been placing regular weekly orders for five consecutive years. When facing cash flow difficulties once, my relative proactively suggested “pay this month’s bill next quarter,” and the client actually introduced two new customers in return.

4. Walking the Tightrope Between Money and Emotion

Of course, discussing money doesn’t mean becoming calculating about every penny. There’s a line in the documentary “Undercover Billionaire”: “The common point between good business and good relationships is - making both parties feel they’ve gained.”

Red envelope exchanges between friends, resource exchanges between mentors and students, joint accounts between spouses - essentially, they all create mutual benefit through money flow. The key is to grasp three principles:

1. Transparency beforehand: Master Chen, a renovation contractor, always lists everything clearly when taking jobs: “I make 15% markup on tiles, buy them yourself if you think it’s expensive.” Clients trust him more.

2. Clear settlement afterward: Relatives who write IOUs every time they borrow money are less likely to have falling-outs than those who say “we’re family, why write IOUs.”

My uncle does business and often needs cash flow. Every time he borrows money from my parents, he writes an IOU and pays interest no lower than the bank’s minimum rate. He always says, “This money would earn interest in the bank too.”

3. Dynamic balance: Relationships are like playing on a seesaw - long-term one-sided giving or taking will cause the relationship to collapse.

Taking money seriously is showing respect for the relationship and hoping it can last long. This isn’t being utilitarian, but rather understanding that: truly good relationships can withstand accounting, and real trust isn’t afraid of discussing money.

Next time you encounter a relationship that’s shy about discussing money, you might as well say directly: “Let’s get the accounts clear first, and leave the rest to time.”

Let’s encourage each other in this.